Charisma on Command | State of the Times

# How to Be Funny without Offending/Pleasing People (Andrew Schultz)

Youtube Link featuring Andrew Schultz Jokes in fun, but actions must show you're a nice genuine person.

Joke with People You Obviously Like (ie: Friends)
- If you follow with joke about someone else it's seen in good fun/no ill intent
- Tease yourself first so friends know it's in fun
  - too much seems insecure
  - mixed in with jokes of others shows confidence
Answer Questions with Absurd (Over the Top) Answers
- Mix genuine answers with funny answers makes things more fun and not everything said taken at face value
Mix Compliments While Teasing Others
- Backhanded compliments
- Nice without funny = Boring
- Funny without being nice = Jerk
- Compliments + Teasing = Fun
Stereotype without Putting People Down
- Charactertures/imitiations/impressions ok
- Don't say anything negative or put down
Tease Everyone, Don't Single Out a Group
- Once you get someone to laugh at something they agree with, easier to get them to laugh at themselves

Youtube Link featuring Emilia Clarke!

Frequent and Genuine Smile
- Genuine smile uses eyes, fake ones don't
- Allow yourself to find humor in everything
- Highlight others around you, don't hold smiles/laughs back
Build People Up
- Be supportive, laugh with them not at them
- Can stil tease people, but sneak in a compliment
Raises the Energy in the Room
- Doesn't just stay normal and blend in
- Enthusiasm is one notch higher than those she's speaking to
Be an Active Listener
- Repeat words, or use reaffirming responses
Make Other People Feel Good by Modeling How to Feel Good Yourself

Youtube Link featuring Chris Hemsworth.

Be Funny/Joking/Playful
- Do the opposite
- Make jokes that elevate others (nice jokes), but don't look like a suckup
  - keep it short and move on
  - don't joke all the time, be genuine/serious too
- Ok to share genuine/serious emotions (especially universal ones) without fearing judgement
  - Pride after working hard
  - Fear of not being good enough
  - Envy of success of others
Touch
- Touch everyone (to varying degrees) - conveys warmth, confidence, without singling anyone out (being creepy)
- Adjust touch according to relationship
  - read their reactions (varies by culture)
  - don't hover touch - feels awkward
  - make it feel good, don't fear being touchy/feely
Share Embarassing Things as if Not a Big Deal
- Speaks without fear of judgement by others especially not being seen as "manly" enough
- Shows comfortable in your own skin, transparent/not hiding anything from anyone
- Gives you 2 options in life:
  - own what you do
  - don't do it
Share Praise
- Only compliment someone when you mean it - be genuine/not fake or suck up
- People like humility
- Builds trust in others and better relationships

Youtube Link featuring Chris Pratt.

Self Amusement
- Start by doing it/having fun alone (ie: dancing, videos)
- Do it for you to make your life more fun
- Do it during "get to know you phase"
Reframe Ambiguous Situations in a Positive Light
- Glass half full attitude in life even when could easily be seen as negative
Complementary Jokes
- Build people up than tear them down

Youtube Link featuring Aubrey Plaza.

Call Out When You're Being Awkward
- Cuts the tension - get's points for gutsy
- Lean into awkward situation - run with it
- Call out social norms mistakes
Don't Get Flustered or Uncomfortable When Things Get Awkward
- Act like it was planned in a joking manner
Answering with 1 Word Responses
- Add an extra sentence
Not Matching Expressions with Words
- Was expecting more energetic response
- Use deadpan sarcastic/over-the-top response to get out of situation
- Laugh at yourself or explain yourself
Getting Caught in Awkward Silence
- Hard pivot to save the conversation
  - do something even more awkward than the situation itself
- Mindset
  - not doing what people expect of her and not being self-conscious
  - don't be so serious
  - not putting on airs
  - comfortable with your own awkwardness

Youtube Link featuring Keanu Reeves.

Redirect Praise to Others
- Can't take a compliment, thank them first then redirect
- deflect with humor
Exudes Zen-Like Presence
- A loud word or two for emphasis makes things more interesting
Enthusiastic Hand Gestures
- NLP 101:
  - Audio: think it words; longer conversations; more sensitive to noises
  - Visual: tend to talk faster
  - Kinesthetic: talks slower, lots of gestures, words jumbled
- Eye Direction When Thinking: